Ouran Highschool's Fullmetal Host Club
by DiscontinuedCharacter
Summary: Discontinued! Ed and Haruhi enter Ouran Academy as Honor Students, and the Host Club knows! What do they do? The Host Club try to for- ah, convince them to join! How will they survive the wrath of an Elric and a Fujioka?
1. Starting Today, YOU ARE HOST!

**A/N: The chapters of this story will be based off the actual OHSHC episodes in order, and I might add a few in that I made up! 3 … u … I do not own FMA or OHSHC, and this is the only time I'll say that during this story. I will not discontinue unless I cannot find the next episode. -_-' Let's hope I'll find the ones I need, and I don't know Ed's middle name, so I'll just make it p... I don't own! If I did, I wouldn't be writing this!**

Two figures gazed into the library. Boys in blue jackets, white shirts, ties, and blue slacks chatted with giggling girls in yellow dresses. One of the two moaned. He had short, messy brown hair, glasses, and was wearing a baggy brown sweater, a white button down shirt, and rust brown pants. The boy next to him had long golden hair pulled back into a barely recognizable braid, with strands sticking out in odd places, and his molten gold eyes gazed around in a bored expression. He wore a black jacket, black leather pants, black elevator boots with red soles, and a worn red coat. The two were about the same height, and the blonde was about a half an inch taller. His gloved hands carried a stack of books, and he sighed.

The first one closed the door. The two walked down the hallway, thinking the same thing. ' _This school has four libraries, and to think one of them would be quiet_ …'

The brunette looked out the windows as doves flew past. ' _I hope you're doing well up there in Heaven mom_. Can't believe it's been ten years already…'

The blonde, on the other hand just stopped and looked back at the brunette. Following his gaze, his fiery golden eyes softened from a bonfire into a soft, warm sunset yellow. ' _Hm, hope you're taking care of Mrs. Fujioka mom…_ '

They continued walking and stopped on the third floor, next to a door with a sign that said, 'Abandoned Music Room'.

The blonde grinned. "Finally! A place that should be quiet!"

The brunette opened the door, and a swirl of rose pedals blinded them. The two waved them aside, and glanced inside with confused expressions.

Inside the 'abandoned' music room were six guys. Two were tall black haired teenagers. One of them was wearing glasses and scribbling something on a clip board. There were two blondes, one of them was much shorter than he should be, with big brown eyes, and was clutching a pink stuffed rabbit close to his chest. The other was fairly tall, with charming violet eyes, and was in a dramatic pose in a chair. There were two redheads, identical twins, grinning at them, well, almost identical. One had his hair swept to the left, the other to the right.

The brunette sweat dropped, and the blond groaned. "Welcome to the Host Club!" The group cheered in unison.

The blonde took a step back, and the brunette gaped. "W-what do you mean H-Host Club?"

One of the twins moaned. "Oh, it's just a two guys."

"One of them seem a bit girly to me." The other remarked.

The blonde's left eye twitched. "I'M A MALE FOR YOUR INFORMATION AND AM NOT GIRLY!"

"Hmm, temperamental," the one with glasses noted. He looked at the red heads. "Hikaru, Kaoru, these two are in your class, aren't they?"

"Yeah, but they're shy, so we don't know much about them." They said in unison.

A light went off in his head, and the teen with glasses, Kyoya Ootori, smirked. "Well, welcome Honor Students."

The tall blonde blinked. "What? So you two must be Haruhi Fujioka and Edward Elric!"

Haruhi squirmed against the door while Edward stared at them in a bored expression. Haruhi stopped and peeked back at them. Ed raised an eyebrow. "How did you know our names?"

"Why you're infamous. It's now everyday commoners gain entrance into Ouran Academy." Kyoya supplied. Then he glanced at Edward. "And in ten minutes no less."

"C-commoner?" Edward stammered.

"You two have a lot of nerve to work hard enough to enter this school as Honor Students, Mr. Fujioka and Mr. Elric."

A hand slapped Haruhi's back. It was the taller blonde guy, Tamaki Suoh. "You must be a hero to all poor people!" He exclaimed. "You two have shown that even poor people can make it into a school like ours!" Haruhi started scooting away, and Edward smirked at his attempt. "It must be hard for you to be constantly be looked down upon by others."

"I think you're taking this 'poor' thing too far." Haruhi muttered, scooting towards a very amused Edward.

"Spurned, neglected, but that doesn't matter now." He pulled Haruhi close. "Long live the poor!" Pink sparkles danced around as roses flew up from nowhere. "We welcome you to our world to beauty!"

Edward snickered, and walked towards the door with Haruhi. "I'm out of this clown town!" Ed laughed.

Small arms grabbed Edward and Haruhi's arms and pulled them back. Ed looked behind him to find the small kid, Hunny, looking up at them with big eyes. "Hey! Come back Haru-chan! Edo-chan! You two are like superheroes or something! That's so cool!"

Ed looked back into his big brown eyes, and his gaze softened. "Sorry kid, but we aren't superheroes. We're only human like you." He gently pulled away. "Humans who couldn't save one little girl…"

"I'm not a hero, I'm an Honor Student." Haruhi muttered, then he realized what Hunny just called him. "AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING HARU-CHAN?!" Hunny yelped and ran to the group.

Tamaki slid by, "I didn't know that one of the new scholarships, would be so openly gay." He said thoughtfully.

Haruhi glanced at him. "HUH?! Openly- WHAT?" Edward face palmed.

Sparkles danced around the room. "Now, tell me what kind of guys you're in to."

He gestured to the other black haired teen, Mori. "The strong, silent type?" then Hunny, "The Boy-Lolita?" Then Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, "How about the mischievous type?" and then Kyoya, "Or the Cool type?"

Haruhi backed away, while Edward stared at them like they were idiots. "Uh…" Haruhi stammered. "I… Uh…." He backed up towards a vase. "I-It's not like that… Uh- We were just looking for a quiet place to read!"

Edward raised an eyebrow, and went wide eyed when Tamaki's hand stroked his cheek. "Or guys like me, the Princely type?"

He pulled away, bumping into Haruhi and they knocked over the vase behind them. Ed gasped and Haruhi whirled around trying to catch it.

SMASH!

The vase crashed and sharp pieces flew everywhere.

The twins looked at the shattered remains.

"Aw," One of them moaned. "We were gonna feed you that vase in an upcoming school auction!"

"Aw, now you've done it commoners, the bidding on that was supposed to start at eight million yen!" The other continued.

Edward and Haruhi paled. "WHAT?! EIGHT MILLION YEN?!"

Haruhi gaped, muttering, "How many thousand yen is that? How many thousands are in a million?"

"One thousand thousands are in a million and multiply that times eight, and that makes it eight thousand thousands in eight million." Edward supplied quietly. He looked back at the twins. "Uh, we're going to have to pay you back…"

The twins looked at each other and shrugged. "With what money?" They asked in unison. "Both of you combined can't even afford one school uniform!"

Haruhi gasped in realization, and self consciously looked down at his clothes, shaking nervously. Kyoya bent down and picked up a shard, as Hikaru commented, "What's with that grubby outfit you got on anyway?"

"Although Edward, those clothes look pretty cool though," Kaoru pointed out, and Ed grinned.

"Well," Kyoya started. "What do you think we should do Tamaki?"

Still shaking, Haruhi gaped at him.

Tamaki gracefully sat down in one of the chairs and crossed his legs. "There's a famous saying you two may have heard Fujioka, Elric." He pointed at them. "When in Rome, you should do as the Romans do." Dramatically, "When you have no money you shall pay with your body." He looked up at them with a smirk. "Starting today, you two are the Host Club's dogs."

Ed sweatdropped, ' _Well, guess I'll always be a dog, first the military, now this dumb club.._.'

Haruhi stared at him, an image of a dog forming in his mind. ' _I don't know if I can handle this mom_ …'

Everyone looked at Haruhi, who spaced out.

One of the twins waved a hand in front of his face. "Hello?"

' _I've been captured by a bunch of boys who call themselves a Host Club.'_

Hunny poked him. "Poke, poke?"

Haruhi promptly toppled over. And Ed blinked in confusion at his friend.

…o0X0o…

Girls giggled and chatted with the Host Club members around the room, as Edward stood by holding a tray with teacups and a teapot.

"Hey Tamaki? What's your favorite song?" One girl asked Tamaki.

He smiled at her, "The one that reminds me of you, of course." She giggled.

"Hey, Tamaki, I baked you a cake. Would you like to taste it?" Another asked quietly.

Tamaki brought her up close, and their noses nearly touching. "Only if you'd feed it to me, darling." She blushed, and closed her eyes. "Oh, how are you so dreamy?"

Edward sweatdropped, and walked over to a table, pouring some tea for the girls. They blushed as he gave them a polite bow and walked away. ' _I sure am glad you told me to learn some manners Al…_ '

Something kicked his legs and he fell forward, and everything flew into the air. He dashed forward, with a yelp and grabbed the tray, catching everything as it fell back into place. Not a single drop was missing. He looked up at the staring crowd. "U-uh…"

The girls slowly started to clap in awe. Edward blinked. ' _They're… applauding?_ '

One of the girls, one with long red hair and sharp, gray eyes next to Tamaki didn't clap. She glanced at Edward with a smirk, and looked at Tamaki. "Oh Tamaki, may I have a word with you?"

"Hm?" He glanced at her.

"I recently heard the Host Club is two little kittens without a pedigree."

He nodded. "Well, I don't know if I'd call them that." He pointed over at Ed who was smiling politely at a blushing girl. "That's one of them, Edward Elric." He looked over to see Haruhi walking in carrying a shopping bag. "Speak of the devil!" He waved. "Thanks for doing the shopping little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?"

Haruhi sweatdropped, ' _What_? _Piglet_?'

He looked at the canteen of coffee from the bag. "Hey wait, what is this?"

"Just what it looks like. It's coffee." Ed supplied, walking over.

"I've never seen this brand before, is this kind already ground?"

"What do you mean? It's instant coffee." Haruhi said simply.

The girls on the other side cocked their heads. "It's instant?"

Tamaki gasped. "Whoa! I've heard of this before! It's commoner's coffee! You just add hot water!"

The girls had started to gather around them. "I didn't know there was such a thing!" "So it's true then, poor people don't even have enough free time to grind their own coffee beans!" They all nodded in unison. "Mmm hmm!"

The Other Host Club members and more girls crowded around them in back.

"Commoners are pretty smart." Kyoya commented.

"100 grams for 300 yen?" Hikaru noted.

"That's a lot less than we normally pay." Kaoru agreed.

Ed inwardly moaned. ' _All this over coffee_?'

"I'll go back and get something else." Haruhi groaned. "Sorry for not buying you expensive coffee, geez."

"No, I'll keep it," Tamaki said, stopping Haruhi. Everyone but Haruhi, Kyoya, and Edward gasped. He stood up. "I'm gonna give it a try." They gasped again. "I will drink this coffee!" They gasped once more, and started to clap.

Edward sweatdropped.

"Alright Haruhi, go and make some of this commoner's coffee!" Haruhi glared at him. ' _I hate all these damn rich people._ '

"Oh Tamaki, now you're taking the joke too far." Haruhi and Edward looked down at the red headed girl. "Your pallet won't be able to stomach that crap. You don't have to drink it just because he bought it."

Edward narrowed his eyes. ' _What did she just say_ …?'

"Hm?" Haruhi blinked.

"I'm sorry." The girl turned. "I was just talking to myself."

Haruhi raised an eyebrow. "Um…"

"Haruhi!" Tamaki called.

Haruhi stopped. "I'm coming…"

…o0X0o…

Haruhi dropped a spoonful of ground coffee into a teacup, and poured hot water into the cups. A few minutes later, he held out a tray with instant coffee. "Here."

Tamaki beamed. "Let the tasting begin!"

Some of the girls looked at it hesitantly. "I'm a little scared to drink this stuff." "I'm afraid if I drink this, my father will yell at me."

Tamaki pulled her down and gazed into her eyes. "What if I let you drink it from my mouth?"

"Well then I would drink it." She stammered. The other girls swooned.

Edward and Haruhi sweatdropped, ' _This is ridiculous_. _Seriously, what's so appealing to that?_ '

…o0X0o…

"And so he had this nightmare that made his bolt straight out of bed!" Hikaru chuckled.

Kaoru gasped. "Hikaru! Don't tell them that story!" His eyes began to water as he looked down. "I told you not tell anyone that… How could you be so mean to me?"

Hikaru blinked. "I'm sorry Kaoru."

The girls quietly held their breaths and cuddled together, absorbing the moment.

Hikaru pulled Kaoru closer. "I didn't mean to upset you, but you were so adorable when it happened I had to tell them. I'm sorry."

A small tear trickled down Kaoru's light crimson cheek. "I forgive you…"

The girls squealed in unison, face red, "I've never seen brotherly love quite like that!"

Haruhi walked past them sweat dropping. ' _What are they so excited about? I just don't get it_.'

Mori and Hunny walked in, with Hunny on Mori's back, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "I'm sorry we're running late,"

The girls looked over, "Hey Hunny! Hi Mori!" "We've been waiting here for you guys! Hi!"

Mori put Hunny down without a word. Hunny yawned again. "I'm sorry. I was waiting for Takashi to finish his kendo meeting and I fell asleep." He rubbed his eyes. "And I'm not, completely awake." The females gasped, and squealed.

"SOOO CUTE!"

Haruhi stood by, staring at the small blonde. "Is that really a third year student?"

Kyoya walked up behind him, hands in his pockets. "Hunny-sempai may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy."

Haruhi turned and looked at him with raised eyebrows. "And then Mori-sempai is strong and silent as his position."

"HARU-CHAN!" Haruhi stumbled back as Hunny tackled him. "Hey Haru-chan, do you wanna go have some cake with me?"

A bit dazed, Haruhi said, "I don't… really like… cake…"

Hunny beamed. "Then how would you like to hold my bunny Usa-chan?" He held up his pink stuffed bunny.

"I'm not all that into bunnies."

Hunny's eyes watered. "You don't like Usa-chan?"

Haruhi blinked at his bunny. It had small black eyes, long, furry ears, and a fuzzy body. He leaned in closer. "I guess he is kind of cute, huh?"

Hunny blinked, and looked at Haruhi with his large brown eyes. A light went off in his head, and he pranced off, "Take good care of him, okay?"

He hopped into a girl's lap and giggled playfully, rolling around as Mori silently watched him.

"They say they divided up each group by the Host's personalities to match up with our guest's preferences," Kyoya continued. "Just so you know, Tamaki is number one around here. He's the king. His request rate is 70%."

Haruhi blinked. "What's this world come to?"

"In order for you and Edward to pay off your eight million yen debt with us, you two will act as the Host's dogs until you two graduate..." He paused. "I'm sorry, I meant our errand boys. You two can try to run away if you want to Haruhi, but just so you know, my family enforces an army of one hundred officers." Haruhi gaped. "By the way," He straightened his glasses. "Do you have a passport?"

Haruhi blinked. "Huh?"

Tamaki slid by just as Edward stopped in front of them.

"You two are going to have to work hard to pay off that debt." Tamaki reminded them.

Ed groaned, "Yeah yeah, I got it already, geez."

"Little nerds," Tamaki breathed down Haruhi's neck and he jumped away, rubbing his neck. Edward growled, shaking with fury. "DON'T." He stepped forward, putting the tray he was carrying on a table. "CALL." He took another step. "ME." He was nose to nose with Tamaki now. "LITTLE!" Tamaki now found himself backed against a corner while Mori held Edward two feet off the ground by his arms.

"LEMMIE AT HIM! LEMMIE AT EM'! C'MON!"

The girls giggled at his little display, and Ed stopped, and raised an eyebrow at them. The he flushed with embarrassment.

Tamaki inched forward slowly and looked at Ed and Haruhi. "You two need a makeover or no girl is gonna look twice at you."

Haruhi raised an eyebrow. "But I'm not trying to get girls to look at me."

Ed nodded. "What's the point?"

Tamaki gasped. "Are you kidding me? It's the most important thing!" He held up a rose. "You have to act like a gentleman to please the ladies."

"Yeah well, I just don't think it's all that important." Ed said plainly.

Tamaki paused and looked at them in confusion.

"Why should I care about appearances and labels anyway?" Haruhi agreed. "I mean, all that really matters is what's on the inside, right?"

"I don't even understand why you have a Host Club like this." Ed continued.

"It's a cruel reality, isn't it?" Tamaki said, and the two sighed.

"It's not often a perfect person like mwah is created. Beautiful both inside and out."

"Say what." Ed deadpanned.

"I understand how you two feel that no one is as blessed as I am, but you must consult yourself, otherwise how would you go on living?" He spun around the room. "Why do you think they put art in museums? It's because its beauty should be shared with the world!"

As Tamaki droned on and on, Ed and Haruhi sweat dropped.

' _There's a word that perfectly describes this guy…'_

' _What was that word? …'_ The twins stopped and looked over at the three.

' _Hmm… Pain in the butt? No…'_

' _Annoying? … Nah, something more_ …'

"…But above all else Haruhi, Edward, you must remember how effective a glance to the side can be." Tamaki finished.

"Oh!" Haruhi smacked his fist against his palm, just as Edward exclaimed, "Got it!"

Tamaki raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Did I strike a chord?"

"Obnoxious!" They both exclaimed. Tamaki froze, and he curled up in the corner of the room.

Haruhi blinked. "Uh, sorry Tamaki-sempai, but your speech did strike a chord." Haruhi apologized. The twins laughed, and Kaoru placed a hand on Haruhi's head as Hikaru placed a hand on Edward's head. "You two are heroes all right!" They both said in unison.

' _But he is a pain in the neck anyways._ ' Ed and Haruhi thought.

Tamaki stood up, spun around and winked. "Really? It did?" He held out his hand. "Let me teach you more my friends."

"Well we got him up quick." Ed stated.

"Bummer." Kaoru mumbled.

"Boss?" Hikaru asked.

"You can call me King!"

"You can teach them the basics of hosting…" Hikaru started.

"But they're not getting anywhere looking like that." Kaoru finished.

"They're not exactly Host club material…"

"Maybe if we take off Haruhi's glasses…"

"And redo Edward's hair…"

"It could help." They finished in unison.

Hikaru took off Haruhi's glasses while Kaoru unbraided Ed's messy hair despite the protests. It fell down to about mid section on his back. They stared at the two, and Tamaki shoved through and stared at them. Ed took a step back.

Tamaki gasped. He snapped his fingers, and Ed slightly flinched. "Hikaru! Kaoru!"

They saluted. "Yes sir!" Hikaru grabbed Edward's arms while Kaoru grabbed Haruhi's. They dragged them to the dressing rooms. Tamaki pointed to Kyoya. "Kyoya, my hair stylist!" Kyoya started dialing a phone number. He pointed at Mori. "Mori-sempai, you go to the eye doctor's and get Haruhi some contact lenses!" Mori raced out the door. Hunny looked up at Tamaki with big, hopeful eyes. "What can I do, Tama-chan?"

"Hunny-sempai."

"Yes sir!"

"You… go have some cake."

Hunny pouted in his chair, nibbling a cake, muttering, "It's just you and me, Usa-chan… Everyone else said they were too busy…"

…o0X0o…

Ed and Haruhi were shoved into a changing room, and Hikaru and Kaoru held out uniforms to them. "Here, change into these uniforms!"

"Why should I do that?" Ed growled.

"What? But why?" Haruhi questioned.

"Don't ask why!" The twins said at the same time, and pounced on the two.

"AUGH! GET OFF ME!" Edward yelped

"No Wait! Grr… Fine! But you three need to GET OUT!" Haruhi growled, and kicked Hikaru and Kaoru out. Ed got out by himself and walked into a separate room.

The twins looked at each other as lights went off in their heads.

…o0X0o…

By evening, Hunny mumbled in his sleep, fourteen empty plates stacked next to him while the rest waited outside the changing rooms.

"What's taking them so long?" Hikaru asked impatiently.

"Um, sempai?" Haruhi's voice called out. The curtain drew back, revealing a boy with large brown eyes, short brown hair, and in the normal male school uniform. "Are you sure it's okay for me to borrow this uniform?"

There was shuffling in the next room, and Ed walked out. His long golden hair pulled back into a high ponytail, and bangs framed his face. A strange strand of hair stuck up like an antenna, and he was also wearing the male uniform. He still had on gloves though… His fiery gold eyes glared at them. "I can't believe you made me do that."

Tamaki's cheeks grew a light pink, and he swooned. "Oooo…. You two are so pretty! Like a bunch or girls! Adorable!"

"I DO **NOT** LOOK LIKE A **GIRL**!" Ed bellowed.

"Haru-chan! Edo-chan! You look so cute!" Hunny squealed.

"If we knew that's how you two really looked, we would have helped you out sooner!" The Hitachiin twins exclaimed.

"Who knows, maybe they'll draw out some customers." Kyoya shrugged.

"Well, that's just what I was thinking," Tamaki grinned. "Our errand boys are moving up the ranks!" He pointed at Edward and Haruhi. "Starting today, you two are official members of the Host Club!"

Ed and Haruhi blinked. "I will personally train you to be a Host, if you both can get one hundred customers each to request you, we'll completely forget about your eight million yen debt!"

"A Host?" Haruhi moaned.

…o0X0o…

"So, Edward, Haruhi, what kind of hobbies do you have?" One girl asked.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Do you wear contacts?"

"What kind of products do you use on your skin? It's so pretty!"

"How old are you?"

"Why did you join the Host Club?"

Ed's left eye twitched, and Haruhi stared at the three girls. ' _How do they ask so much? I don't know if I can handle this_.'

Edward sighed. "I like journaling and coming up with theories for the unexplainable, red and black, cause' they look badass, no, I don't do anything, fifteen, because I felt like it."

Haruhi stayed silent, and the girls looked at him expectantly. ' _All we gotta do is get one hundred requests each, and they'll forget our debt. I know just the story…_ '

…o0X0o…

Tamaki stared at the two new Hosts from behind the couch, absorbing everything they said and the ladies' reactions.

"Oh, I see." One said quietly. "Your mother got sick and passed away ten years ago…"

"So who does the chores around the house?" Another asked, pity lingering in her eyes.

Haruhi looked up at her with big, brown eyes. "Oh, I do." He looked at her. "My mother taught me, she was an amazing cook." His eyes showed a tint of sadness. Tamaki's eyes widened at his story. Edward looked over at Haruhi, his gold eyes sinking into a murky brown. "When she went to the hospital, she left me a bunch of great recipes. It was fun to create each dish, especially when they came out good…" He gave them a forced smile. "I've had a rough childhood, but dad and I have managed to make it through okay…"

One of the girls looked at Ed, who was staring at the floor, his blank eyes dead and lifeless. "Edward? Are you alright?"

Everyone at the table looked at him, and Tamaki's violet orbs wandered over to the smaller blond. Ed blinked, and looked up at them. "O-oh, uh sorry… It's just that…" He gave a sad glance over at Haruhi. "Haruhi's story reminds me of my own…"

One girl put a hand on his left. "Could you tell us?"

Ed paused, and nodded slowly. "A-alright." He sat up straight and gazed into each of their curious eyes. Tamaki leaned forward in anxiety. "I have a little brother, his name is Alphonse. We were born and raised in a small farming town, with my mom and dad. But…" His gaze darkened. "My dad left us when I was around five, and my brother was four. He just got up and left us without even saying goodbye." His eyes looked down. "And then a few years later, we found out our mom was sick, and hadn't told anyone about it. There weren't any hospitals nearby, and a traveling doctor said it was incurable. She never stood a chance." Tamaki and the girls gasped. "So Al and I lived with my next door neighbor, Winry Rockbell, and her grandmother, Pinako Rockbell until Al was nine and I was ten. We were both extremely good in… chemistry, so we continued our studies with a family friend, Izumi Curtis and her husband, Sig Curtis. When we came back, Al and I got into an accident and Winry got me back up onto my feet with a temporary fix. After that, we burned down our home so we could travel to look for a permanent solution. I got a well paying job at the age of twelve, and I found a solution to Al's injury. He's still in a hospital back near my apartment, so I came here to attend school and find something interesting for him."

Haruhi stared at him. ' _That's what he's been hiding? He's an orphan, his brother's in a hospital, and he's got a job?'_

One girl stared at him. "Oh, sorry…" she whispered quietly.

Ed shook his head. "I don't need your pity. We've made it through this much, so we can still keep going." He gave her a small smile. "Besides, you got two good, strong legs don't you? Don't worry, just get up and use your legs. Make your own path, and don't let anyone control you like a dog."

She blushed, and all the girls squealed. "SOOO CUTE!"

…o0X0o…

"I just don't get how they're so popular." Tamaki muttered.

"They're naturals." Kyoya commented, standing beside Tamaki, who continued to stare at Ed and Haruhi, who were beaming at blushing girls.

"No training needed." The twins agreed in unison.

"Have you forgotten about me?" The same red head girl asked. Tamaki turned and beamed at her.

"Oh no. Sorry Princess," He said calmly, flicking his blond hair out of his eyes. "I'm just concerned about our two newest Hosts."

"Well that's obvious, Tamaki," She said, looking at him with stone gray eyes. "You sure have been keeping an eye on them."

"Of course. I have to, I'm training them to be gentlemen like me." Tamaki snapped his fingers, and Haruhi and Ed looked at him."Haruhi, Edward, come here for a moment." They blinked, and excused themselves from the giggling girls. They walked over, and Ed raised an eyebrow.

"What do you want?"

"I'd like you to meet someone." He gestured to the girl next to him. "This is my regular guest, Princess Iona Koji."

Haruhi blinked. ' _It's that girl from earlier._ '

Haruhi smiled. "It's nice to meet you!"

Edward beamed. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Tamaki gasped. He lurched forward and grabbed a very surprised Ed and Haruhi in a bear hug. He twirled around, ignoring their struggling. "OH THAT WAS SO CUTE! THAT EYELASH BASHING WAS AMAZING! YOU TWO ARE SO GOOD!"

Iona sweatdropped, and held up a hand in a 'stop' gesture. "Uh, Tamaki, I think that's enough…"

"MMRPH!" Ed yelped.

"YOU'RE SO CUTE!"

"MORI-SEMPAI! HELP ME!" Haruhi struggled. Mori looked up at the situation, and narrowed his eyes. A few seconds later, a light went off in his head. Haruhi was in the air, hanging from Mori's arms three feet in the air. Ed was stuck, Tamaki's arm covering his mouth, and he stared at Mori, despite suffocating. Tamaki sweatdropped and finally let go of Edward, who crouched down on the ground, gasping for air.

Tamaki raised his hands in mock surrender. "Uh, Mori-sempai, you didn't need to go that far…" Nobody noticed Iona glaring at Haruhi and Edward. "C'mon, let daddy give you a big hug!"

"I already got a dad, I don't need another one." Haruhi grumbled.

…o0X0o…

Haruhi rummaged through his locker just as Edward ran up to him. "Hey Haruhi! Have you seen my bag?"

Haruhi looked up. "Uh, no, sorry. I can't find mine either." Ed blinked.

"Oh… uh…"

Haruhi looked out the window, and looked down. He gaped. "T-that's my bag!" Down in the pond was a brown bag, books, pens, pencils, and notebooks. Ed ran up to the window. "Hey! Is that my bag in that tree?!"

Haruhi sighed. "Didn't think there'd be bullies at this school… Guess they're everywhere…"

"If I find the person who did this, they'll have a lot coming for em'!" Ed growled.

…o0X0o…

Haruhi stood ankle deep, barefoot and with his pants legs rolled up. Sleeves rolled up, He was bent over, feeling around in the water. "Must've been that girl. She seems to hate me and Ed…" He muttered to himself. "But I can't be worked up about her right now. I gotta find my wallet or I won't have any money for food this week!"

Meanwhile, Ed had abandoned his jacket on a tree branch and was slowly making his way up the tall oak tree. "This is one damn tall tree…"

"Hey commoner." Haruhi turned around to see Tamaki looking at him with raised eyebrows. "You and Ed have a lot of nerve skipping out on the club like that."

Haruhi paused. "Ah…"

Tamaki looked down at the pile of soaking books. "Why's your stuff all wet?"

"I, uh… must've dropped it…" Haruhi huffed and continued looking for his wallet. He stopped when a few splashes rippled the cold water. He looked up at Tamaki who now was searching through the waters.

"You don't have to…"

"Nah, s'okay," Tamaki reassured, "They say I'm dripping with good looks anyway."

Haruhi stayed silent and stared as Tamaki straightened up and held up his wallet. "Looking for this?" Haruhi didn't respond and Tamaki waved it in his face. "Hey, you're staring. Are you falling for me?"

Haruhi scoffed. "NO!" and snatched the wallet. Tamaki smirked, but it soon faded into a frown. "Hey, where's Edward?"

"OVER HERE!" They turned to see Ed scowling at them. His hair was dirty and messy, and a few twigs and leaves stuck out. A strand of hair was stuck to his cheek, and he was currently hanging upside down with a vine tangled around his right leg, waist, and right arm. His bag clutched tightly in his left arm.

Tamaki sweatdropped, "What happened to you?" He observed the teen a bit more. "And why are you in a tree?"

Ed huffed. "Oh I don't know, just taking a climb." His voice oozed sarcasm. "I was getting my bag!" He scowled more. "GET ME DOWN!" Tamaki shrugged and walked up to him. He started untangling the vines, and Ed fell on his head. "OW!"

…o0X0o…

"So your bag fell into the water?" Iona said, putting her teacup down. Haruhi sweatdropped. ' _Why did she request me if it's obvious she doesn't like me_?' "I also heard dear Edward's bag somehow got stuck in a tree! I don't know what I'd do if my bag wound up in one of those situations!" Iona looked into Haruhi's eyes, her stone cold eyes narrowing. "And you made Tamaki search that dirty old pond? You know he's a blue-blood." She sighed. "The only reason he's paying attention to you and Edward are because he's trying to turn you into gentlemen."

Haruhi narrowed his eyes. "That's it." Iona looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "You're jealous of us." Iona blinked, and her mouth was a perfect 'o'.

…o0X0o…

Ed raised an eyebrow at Tamaki, who seemed to be saying something cheesy and dumb, while the girls gushed and swooned. ' _How is that dreamy? I just don't get it._ '

He yawned, scratching the back on his head, while a few nearly girls blushed and swooned at how 'cute' he looked. Ed walked by, occasionally smiling at a girl, who would in return flush and faint.

He strolled by Haruhi and Iona, and chaos erupted. The table fell over, knocking Ed onto ground, a few pieces on glass embedded themselves into his legs. Haruhi had Iona on the ground, hovering over her. Iona screeched, "Help! Haruhi just assaulted me! Someone teach this commoner a lesson!"

Ed choked. "What?" He crawled over. "You two a-"

"Eek! Edward's in on it!"

The twins held identical jugs and poured the water on Ed, Iona, and Haruhi.

"What did I do to deserve that?" Ed growled.

Iona stared in shock at the Hosts. "B-but, why…?" Tamaki walked over and knelt down, helping Iona up. "T-Tamaki… Haruhi and Edward just attacked me!"

Tamaki gave her a dark look. He gently pulled her head up, and a venomous violet met a shocked stone grey. "Iona, you're the one who trashed Ed and Haruhi's bags."

"Y-you don't have proof if I did it!"

Tamaki made a tsk tsk sound. "You're a beautiful girl, but you're not fit for the Host Club." Iona's eyes widened. "And if there's one thing I know, Haruhi and Ed aren't that kind of people."

Iona's eye's filled with angry tears. "Tamaki- you… you IDIOT!" Iona pulled away and ran out.

Ed sweatdropped, sarcasm dripped out of his mouth, "Well _that_ wasn't dramatic."

Tamaki helped Ed and Haruhi up, and Ed winced as he put his right foot down. Hunny looked at his legs with raised eyebrows. "Edo-chan, you're hurt!" Tamaki gasped and grabbed Ed's right leg thankfully, and Ed's head hit the ground again. "OW!"

He pulled away, and Kyoya walked up to them holding two bags. He handed one to each. "These are the only spare uniforms we have left. Sorry, but it's better than a wet one."

Haruhi looked at the uniform. "Thanks, I'm gonna go change."

Ed nodded. "Yeah…"

…o0X0o…

Tamaki walked up to the two rooms holding Ed and Haruhi, and pulled the curtains back. "Hey Haruhi, Ed, I brought towels for yo-"

He stopped at the sight. Haruhi was currently removing _her_ shirt, and she looked back, blinking in bewilderment. Ed was on a stool wearing only a black T-shirt and white shorts. His still wet hair dangled down his back, and was currently trying to pick glass out of his legs. From the right shoulder down, and the left knee down was gleaming metal. Wires were seen between the gaps in the steel, and a few gears were turning. He looked up at the sound of Tamaki's voice, and paled. "Ah…"

The curtains drew back into place.

A light finally went off in Tamaki's head. Haruhi's a girl!

…o0X0o…

Tamaki's face was a bright red as he stared. The rest of the Host Club stood smirking. Haruhi stood in front of them sweatdropping. _She_ wore the normal female uniform, a bright yellow dress with long sleeves.

"So cute!" Hunny exclaimed.

Haruhi rubbed her arm."Look guys, I don't really care if you see me as a guy or a girl." She looked each of them on the eyes. "I think it matters for who you are rather than what gender you are."

There was a mumble behind the other curtain, and Haruhi sighed. "Edward Thomas Elric, you get out here right now!" There was a low growl inside, and the curtain drew back, revealing a VERY annoyed Ed, he was in a black tank-top, and his black leather pants, his feet were bare, and his automail foot gleamed in the dim light.

He scowled at the Host Club's gaping faces. "Don't look at me like that," He glanced over at Haruhi. "Happy?"

She raised an eyebrow, but nodded. Ed moaned. "I still don't think this was a good idea… They'll just go blabber this," He gestured to his arm and leg, "To the whole school!"

Kyoya spoke up. "How far up does your leg go?"

Edward tapped his left knee.

"Does it hurt?"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"That's so cool!"

"What is that?"

"How does it work?"

"Only during surgery, attachment, and being detached, or when it's wet outside, I don't want anyone talking about it cuz it's uncommon in your country, and I don't want to be thought of as a bloody cripple, no, it's not. I f you think this is cool, talk to my mechanic, this is automail, highly advanced prosthetics, and it's connected directly to the nerves. Automail functions on the electricity sent from my brain, multiplies the energy enough to move it, and it moves like a normal limb. Now can you PLEASE stop the questions?! And don't you go talking about this to ANYONE, or I'll have to snap off your legs and stuff em down your throat." Ed gave them a dark glare.

Hunny paled and clutched Usa-chan. There was no doubt Edward could do that.

Haruhi noticed the pale faces. "You know Tamaki-sempai," Tamaki blinked out of his 'scared-to-death-cuz-Edo-chan-threatened-me' trance and looked at her. "I think you were pretty cool back there."

He blushed in embarrassment, and his face heated to a bright crimson. He covered his mouth, slowly moving away trying to not let anyone notice.

Kyoya smirked. "You know, I may be wrong, but I think this is the beginning of love here."

Haruhi thought for a moment, and Ed went back into his stall to change.

"You know, maybe getting fawned over by a bunch of girls might not be so bad." Haruhi exclaimed. Tamaki gaped at her.

"No shit." Ed agreed from behind the curtain.

"I know!" She smacked the side of her fist on her open palm. "I'll just call everyone 'dude' and 'bro' now!" She giggled, and it turned into a humorous laughter.

 **A/N: WOW! That only took like two months to write, but hey! I GOT IT! Now that this little beauty is uploaded, I'll work on chapter two my other stories. Please review, and tell me if I made any mistakes! And If this chapter gets at least three reviews, I'll slap a random omake at the end of chapter two! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Any ideas?**


	2. The Job of a High School Host!

**A/N: Okay, I FINALLY updated. You people who asked and wanted this, you're welcome. Sorry it took so long! And I have a feeling Ed's a tad bit… OOC and didn't get much of the spotlight last chapter, so here you go Eddy boy! This chapter I get to torture him… AT THE BALL! MWAH HA HA HA- *chokes* COUGHCOUGHCOUGH… gah, gotta stop doing that… meh, don't care. MWAH HA HA!**

 **I checked out the reviews to the last chapter, and I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. Someone named Elizabeth thought Ed and Haruhi dressed in the same stall in the end. NO THEY DID NOT. Ed already knew Haruhi's a girl, so he was in a different stall! Also thanks to everyone who reviewed! TouchDouche, gwntan12, and Elizabeth. And SERIOUSLY?! WOW! 10 FAVS and 11 FOLLOWS FOR ONE CHAPTER?! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! Also, that Suzushima guy, the Hosts call him Suzushima, I call him Toro.**

The bells of the tall clock tower rang out into the cool spring air, and Haruhi sighed. _SHE_ closed her notebook and placed it into her bag. Looking over, she sweatdropped at the piles upon piles of books next to her. Haruhi peeked over the edge to see a blond head buried in a rather think textbook. His gold eyes raced across the page at an alarming speed.

' _Is he even reading it?_ '

She shook his shoulder. _Fwip._ No response. She shook him harder. _Fwip, fwip._ She growled. They're gonna be late for the Host Club! Haruhi grabbed the book and pulled it out of Ed's hands. He paused for a moment, staring at the place where the book had been. Realization dawned on him, and he glared at her. Haruhi started to regret taking the book.

"Haruhi," Ed growled. "That's the last one, and I'm on the last page!"

She blinked. ' _No way_ …' She glanced at the book wall. There were nearly thirty-seven books there! "We're gonna be late for the Host Club!" she argued. He blinked in bewilderment.

"Really?" He sighed. "Fine." Ed got up and snatched the book back. Placing it in his bag, Ed ran out the door, Haruhi hot on his tail.

' _Crap, we're gonna be late! I'll never hear the end of it_!' They both thought.

Haruhi skidded to a stop in front of the so called, 'abandoned' music room, and opened the door. As usual, rose pedals fluttered out, and Ed waved them aside. "Welcome!" The Hosts cheered.

Everything was not normal. Palm trees and tropical plants were everywhere, and animals crawled around the treetops. A snake made its way up a tree, while a chameleon slowly crawled across a bush. The heat poured out onto the surprised teens. Everyone else was wearing tropical clothes. "Why are you wearing skirts and dresses?" Ed blurted.

Tamaki blinked. "What? No, no, no… this is our tropical paradise!"

Ed groaned. "I can't believe I had to join this Club!"

Haruhi moaned. ' _Can_ _you see this… from Heaven mom? This is the Club I was forced to join._ '

"You finally made it Haruhi and Edward. You're so late." Hikaru and Kaoru said in unison.

"I could be wrong," Ed started. "But my calendar says it's still early spring."

Tamaki smiled and twirled around. "Hiding under tables and shivering is nonsense. And besides, the heating system we have is…" He dramatically posed. "THE BEST!"

"Do you have a problem with how we run our club? Be careful what you say, you two owe us eight million yen." Kyoya stated.

Ed groaned. "Yeah yeah…"

"Gentlemen don't bundle up in bulky clothing," Tamaki said, dramatically posing again with a fan. "It may be chilly early spring out there in the real world, but here in the Club, we want to surprise our chilly little kittens with a warm, tropical paradise!" He pulled Ed and Haruhi close, an arm around their necks. "Yes, we've turned this place into Nirvana! A balmy, tropical island of everlasting summer!"

"That's funny, because I feel a massive chill right now." Haruhi muttered, and Ed nodded agreement.

…o0X0o…

"What heartlessness," Tamaki said dramatically. "Even with my skin, shining like brilliant ivory, exposed by my botany's king outfit," He pulled a girl in close. "I am no more than a slave before my goddess, swearing my eternal loyalty."

The girl sighed. "Oh Tamaki…"

"Lucky…" Another girl swooned. "Oh wow…"

Tamaki stood up. "Oh, I almost forgot to mention ladies. Next week the Host Club's sponsoring a party."  
Ed stopped. "A party…?"

"What kind of party is it going to be? Formal?" He looked over at the Hitachiin Twin's table.

Hikaru nodded. "Yes, in fact, we've rented the school's largest hall."

"It's the perfect place for dancing." Kaoru agreed.

Hikaru pulled Kaoru close. Their eyes met. "But I really wanted to spend some alone time with you, Kaoru."

"Don't be upset Hikaru," Kaoru whispered, eyes slowly gazing into his twin's. "I know exactly how you feel."

The girls squealed, and Haruhi sweatdropped. "They seem more worked up than usual…"

"Showing some skin proves popular with the ladies." Kyoya explained, writing something in his notebook.

"So are you the one who came up with this tropical paradise idea?" Haruhi asked, looking at the trees.

"I have no authority in decisions," Kyoya said calmly. "All of the Club's politics have been laid out by the Club's King, Tamaki." He mysteriously grinned. "But, I guess there's no harm in admitting I slipped a Bali photo book onto his desk."

Haruhi sweatdropped, ' _So he's the real brains behind this operation…_ '

…o0X0o…

"TA-DA!" Hunny jumped up, wearing a necklace of flowers around his neck.

"OH YOU'RE SO CUTE HUNNY!" The girls gushed.

"HIYA LADIES! I love these bows and these flowers! We had them flown in!"

Hunny giggled, and Mori walked by and looked at him, poker-faced. Hunny looked up and beamed. "Takashi!" He climbed up Mori's leg, then torso, and then neck, and placed an identical ring of flowers around his neck. Hunny hugged him lovingly. "There! We match!"

One girl fainted while the other caught her, swooning at Mori and Hunny, "Aww! They're covered in camellias!"

' _I'm still thoroughly confused by the two of them_.' Edward thought.

"Um, Haruhi?" She looked over at a short haired brunette. "Aren't you going to wear a tropical outfit like the other boys?"

"I'd like to see that." Another agreed.

"O-oh n-no…" She held up her hands in mock surrender. "I just don't think it's appropriate to wear anything other than early spring attire in early spring, y'know?"

"We have one ready for you Haruhi and Edward!" Tamaki tried. "I think you two will like it. Haruhi and I match and Ed's in gold!"

"NO WAY!" Ed yelled.

"No thanks." Haruhi groaned.

The girls gushed. "Wow Haruhi, you're really faithful to the different seasons, aren't you?" "That's so great! I hope the cherry blossoms are in full bloom on the night of the party!" "The two of us dancing among the cherry blossoms, it's so dreamy!"

…o0X0o…

Ed sweatdropped, ' _At least Haruhi has an excuse_ …'

"Edward? Aren't you feeling a little hot in that?" He looked at the girl sitting across from him. Truth was he was burning up. ' _Okay Ed, say something_!', "Ah, not really,"

She blushed, and squealed.

"So, Edward, why do you wear your hair so long?"

He shrugged. "Well, I honestly don't really know. I guess I've traveled so much I never really bothered to cut it. Now that I think about it, I kinda like it."

The girls cuddled together and stared at him with wide eyes, as if Ed were an animal in a zoo. "

Edward sweatdropped, thinking, ' _Seriously_?' The girls swooned, squealing, "SOOO CUTE!"

"Excuse me," Ed looked up to see a young lady. She had shoulder length brown hair and warm chocolate eyes. "I think it's time for the clients to switch Hosts."

He blinked. "Oh, you must be my next appointment. Miss… uh…"

"Konoko... Konoko Kazuko." Bending down, she cupped his chin in her palm and looked in his eyes. "You know, you're cuter than I expected." Ed slightly blushed in embarrassment. "I've decided. From now on, you're my new favorite Host." Tamaki gasped in utter shock in the background.

…o0X0o…

 _Slurp. Slurp. Sluuurrrp_. ' _I can't take this anymore_ …' Tamaki thought glumly, slurping a bowl of ramen.

"Hey boss." Hikaru called. "Could you stop eating that commoner's ramen?"

"We need help over here with the party planning!" Kaoru added.

"He shouldn't be surprised," Kyoya said, typing something on his laptop. "She's had the disease for a while now."

Haruhi blinked. "Disease…?"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "She's looks fine to me. I didn't see any trace of an illness."

"She's got the 'Host Hopping' disease…" Kaoru supplied.

"…A.K.A. the 'never-the-same-guy-twice' disease." Hikaru added.

"Usually, our guests choose a favorite Host and visit them regularly. However, Princess Konoko

tends to change her favorites… on a regular basis." Kyoya said without looking up.

Hunny nodded, and looked at Kyoya's screen. "That's right, because she chose you Edo-chan, she was with Tama-chan!"

"So basically Tamaki's jealous because she chose Edward?" Haruhi asked in a bored tone.

"SHUT UP! I COULD CARE LESS!" Tamaki wailed. "I'm running out of patience." He pointed at Ed and Haruhi. "Haruhi, I don't get why you get along so well with the ladies if YOU YOURSELF ARE A LADY! IT'S TIME YOU STARTED DRESSING LIKE A GIRL!" He whirled around to Ed, who inwardly cursed. "And you! I don't get why you, Edward Elric, the so-called 'shy-yet-cool' guy manages to do well socializing! AND You LOOK TOO MUCH LIKE A GIRL TO GET ALONG WELL WITH GIRLS!"

"I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A GIRL! I'M NOT SHY, AND I CAN SCOCIALIZE YOU KNOW!" Edward bellowed.

"NO ONE IN THE SCHOOL KNOWS YOUR SECRETS EXEPT FOR THOSE OF US HERE!"

"They opted out of taking gym classes." Hikaru said.

"And the attendance numbers are all mixed together so no one can really tell." Kaoru nodded.

Tamaki ran off and pulled back a trunk. He threw it open and pulled out two picture frames, and shoved them in Ed and Haruhi's faces.

One was of a young middle school girl, with long, silky brown hair, bangs, and a big smile. The other was of a young, eight year old boy with choppy blond hair, bangs framing his face, and a strange antenna like strand of hair sticking up in the center. He had a big grin on his face, and was showing whoever took the picture a rather big largemouth bass, still on the fishing hook.

"DADDY WANTS YOU TWO TO GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE!"

"DON'T GO PULLING OUT MY PHOTOS WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST!" Haruhi screamed.

"HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THAT, ALL THE PHOTOS IN MY HOUSE WERE BURNED!" Ed yelled in surprise.

"The more I look at these pictures, the more amazed I am." Hikaru noted. Two images floated around in their heads. One of Ed and Haruhi before, and one of how they looked when they first came to the school. "How can those turn into that?"

"The day before school started, some kid in my neighborhood got some gum in my hair. It's a real pain to get gum out of long hair, so I decided to chop it all off." Haruhi explained. "I didn't care if I looked like a dude."

"Well, as you know, I lost an arm and replaced it with automail, and that was when I was ten. So I never did bother cutting my hair since I only had one arm for a while. When I started traveling I never had time to. Now, I just don't care." Ed shrugged.

Tamaki's eyes watered in frustration. "A GIRL SHOULD NEVER REFER TO HERSELF AS A DUDE! AND A DUDE SHOULDN'T LOOK SO GIRLY!"

"I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A GIRL, DAMN IT!"

"Mama!" Tamaki ignored Ed and looked over at Kyoya. "Haruhi's using those dirty boy words again!"

Kaoru sweatdropped, and looked at Kyoya. "I'm sorry, but who's 'mama'?"

"Based on Club position, I'd assume it's me." Kyoya said calmly.

"I don't see why you're being such a crybaby." Ed moaned. "Seriously, grow up!"

"Look, we're working as Hosts to pay back our eight million yen debt. As errand boys it'll NEVER happen." Haruhi nodded.

"Hate to change the subject, but do you two have formal dancing experience? You're gonna need it at the party." Kaoru stated.

Ed blinked. "Uh… yeah…" ( **A/N: What? He's in the military, yeah, but I decided he SHOULD have some experience. Hawkeye would have seen to that, unless Edo here wanted a bullet to the head… He had to learn it before winding up here… MWAH HA HA**!)

Haruhi paled. "Uh, no… but the party doesn't have anything to do with our quota, right? I'm not interested in going to events so if I could be excused…?"

Tamaki's sobs stopped. He glanced at the two with an evil gleam in his eyes. "Defiantly not; a refined gentleman must know how to dance… If you want to live the life of a Host that badly, you're going to have to show us how far you're willing to go Haruhi," He demonstrated a dancing pose. "I order you to master the waltz in one week." He spun around. "And you will demonstrate it to us at the party!" He pointed at Haruhi. "Or I'll tell the whole school you're a girl!" Haruhi twitched. "And lower you back down to errand boy!"

…o0X0o…

"Quick, quick, slow… quick, quick, slow… quick, quick, slow…" Tamaki slowly gazed across the room at Haruhi and Konoko, who were practicing the waltz across the room. Ed stood nearby, smirking at them. "Good work Haruhi." Konoko complimented. "Now on the 'slow', you should bring your feet together…" Haruhi flushed in embarrassment. "No you must remember, the gentleman always leads, and make sure to look at the lady you're dancing with…"

"Got it!" Haruhi confirmed. "Ugh… w-w-WAUGH!"

They toppled over with Haruhi on top of Konoko. "I-I'm so sorry Miss Kazuko!" Haruhi stammered. Konoko looked at her, and placed her arms around Haruhi's neck. "No, it's okay…"

Ed walked over and offered his hands. "Can I help you two up?"

They looked up at him, and Konoko nodded. She reached up and grabbed his left, and Haruhi caught his right.

' _Cold… Hm, that's to be expected_.' Haruhi thought as she got up.

"You're such a gentleman, acting like that." Konoko noted.

Edward blinked. "Acting…?"

Konoko smirked. "I've seen you outside of school. You're nothing like you act here at the club."

He slightly blushed in embarrassment. "Ah… you're right…" He grinned mischievously. "Then I'll just do things over again." He held out his left hand. "Names Edward Elric, call me Ed, 'cause people who call me Edward either hate me or want to kill me."

Konoko blinked. "Ah, alright." She shook his hand. "Princess Konoko Kazuko. Call me Konoko," She smiled and leaned in close, their noses nearly touching. " _Ed_."

Edward's eyes widened, and a soft pink rose to his cheeks. "O-okay Konoko…" He led her and Haruhi to a table, and Konoko looked at the teacup in front of her. Her brown eyes softened. "Oh, it's a Jinori…"

Haruhi sweatdropped. "Jinori?"

Kyoya nodded, "You have a keen eye Miss Kazuko. The shipment came in not too long ago. The club decided to upgrade the guest's tea sets."

Konoko gazed into the cup. "I see… what a pretty color… How lovely…"

Tamaki blinked and looked at her, gears turning in his head.

"You must be really into table wear, huh?" Ede commented, raising an eyebrow.

She blinked and quickly set it down, her face blushing madly. "N-No! Of course not! W-what gave you that silly idea Ed?"

Haruhi blinked. ' _She obviously knows a lot about it, why would she lie…_?'

The door opened, and a teenager with short cropped black hair, dark brown eyes, wearing a tan colored sweater, a white T-Shirt underneath, and a red tie. "Hello? I'm here with the new teacups you ordered."

"Ah, thank you very much." Kyoya said.

Konoko quietly gasped and looked over her shoulder. Edward glanced between her and the newcomer curiously. A puzzle piece clicked into place.

"Every piece you've chosen has been quite popular with the ladies. I'm quite impressed."

"That's good to hear." The boy smiled.

"So, do you sell tea sets?" Haruhi asked curiously. She walked up and took the box from his hands

"No, I'm just a regular student. Can't you tell by the uniform?" He shook his head politely.

"Heh, I can't blame you for not knowing, Haruhi." Konoko chuckled. All eyes turned to her. "I mean, he doesn't really _look_ like an heir to a first class company." The teen looked at her in surprise.

Haruhi raised an eyebrow. "First class company?"

"His family business, The Suzushima Trading Company, deals primarily in the importing of table wear." Kyoya explained. "They currently have the top market share in the country."

Ed whistled. "Impressive, man,"

"So when anything exceptional comes in, we asked him to send it our way." Haruhi looked between Konoko and the boy, Toro. "He has a great eye for fine shine art. Don't you, Suzushima?"

Toro chuckled, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "You really think so? I still have a lot to learn."

"Aren't you leaving next month to study in Broad in England?"Kyoya asked.

"Yes, I am… Well, I'd better go now." Toro confirmed. Konoko looked down sadly, and Ed narrowed his eyes.

"So, are you enjoying the Host Club?" Tamaki asked.

"I have a feeling you and that guy are pretty close." Edward commented, and she whirled around to face him, cheeks red hot.

"W-what?! Don't be ridiculous! What makes you say that Ed?! We hardly know each other!" She quickly got up, face still red. "N-now if you'll excuse me, take care…" She scurried away, leaving Ed sweatdropping.

"EDO-CHAN!" Hunny cried, tackling him.

"WAUGH! Hunny! Don't do that!" He yelped, nearly toppling over.

"Guess what! They _do_ know each other! Suzushima is Kazuko-chan's fiancé!"

Tamaki raised an eyebrow. "How long have you known about this Kyoya?"

"About the two of them being engaged?" Kyoya readjusted his glasses, and opened his notebook. "As you know, I conduct general searches on all of our customers. The two of them were childhood friends. It seems their engagement was arranged by their parents. I didn't think the information would benefit us, so I disregarded it."

Tamaki leaned in. "I see…"

Kyoya looked at his notebook. Pictures of Suzushima and Konoko were taped in with information written neatly underneath. "Toro Suzushima… Outstanding grades, normal social status, he's ordinary looking, but reliable. I'd phone him for anything."

"He doesn't have much presence." Hikaru added.

"And he's faint hearted." Kaoru nodded.

"So in other words," Kyoya closed his notebook. "He's boring."

Ed and Haruhi sweatdropped. ' _I had no idea they were so merciless towards other guys_.'

"Suzushima is a good boy…" Hunny looked at them from Mori's shoulders with wide eyes. "…right?"

"Yeah." Mori replied, poker faced.

"All right everyone," Tamaki said, walking forward. "we're going to have to work on our strategy."

"Which one?" Everyone asked in unison.

"Men, it is our job," he looked up, eyeing everyone in the eyes. "As the elite Ouran Host Club," He narrowed his eyes, "To make every girl happy!"

…o0X0o…

"It is so good to see you here, my little lambs." Tamaki raised a hand into the dim lighting of the hall. "The Ouran Host Club would like to bid you," He bowed as the lights turned on. "Welcome." Everyone was dressed up, girls in fancy, sparkling dresses, and the men in neat suits.

Men sitting nearby started playing their violins, violas, and cellos as the girls swooned at the sight of all eight Hosts. They clapped in awe as they all bowed, Ed and Haruhi were a bit stiff, but nobody noticed.

"As usual ladies," Kyoya started. "The Host Club members are here for your entertainment. So we invite you to dance to your heart's content. Based on her dancing skills, one lucky girl will be chosen as tonight's queen." All the girls' eyes widened with hopefulness. "The queen's reward will be a passionate kiss on the cheek, from our king."

They all gasped at the thought. Tamaki winked. "Good luck to you, my darlings." They all blushed and squealed, hearts dancing around their eyes. One fainted from the pressure as a light pink heart seeped out of her mouth.

Ed and Haruhi moaned uncomfortably. The twins looked at them and both placed their hands on their hips. "Edward and Haruhi, show some enthusiasm!"

Ed's left eye twitched in annoyance. "Well geez. I don't go to formal partys, and I don't like dressing up! I've only gone to the Sheep Festival and the Winter and Summer Solstice Festivals held in my hometown six years ago!"

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "I've only gone to the festivals held in my neighborhood park…"

Kyoya raised an eyebrow. "Sheep…? I don't think none of those would be considered parties…" He looked up from his notebook. "Well, since you two are already here, you might as well get something to eat." Haruhi and Ed looked up. "We've got quite a spread."

Ed grinned, "Long as it doesn't have milk in it, I'm game!"

"A spread…?" Haruhi muttered. She slightly blushed in embarrassment. "With… fancy tuna?"

Kyoya's pen snapped.

Hunny, the Hitachiin twins, and Tamaki gasped.

"Fan-"

"-Cy-"

"-Tuna?!" Tamaki grabbed the railing and somersaulted over the edge, landing next to the group. The twins were rubbing their cheeks against Haruhi's red face, and Hunny stared wide eyed with curiosity. Mori remained poker faced. Tamaki pointed at Kyoya who brought out his phone and started texting. "Kyoya! Get us some fancy tuna ASAP! And get Ed something without milk!"

Kyoya nodded. "Better add some deluxe sushi to the mix."

Ed covered his mouth, cheeks bright red, as he struggled to hold back his laughter. Haruhi's eye twitched. ' _I hate these rich jerks_ …'

…o0X0o…

Music floated through the air, as the Hosts twirled around with beautifully dressed girls. Hunny giggled childishly as a brunette laughed and spun him around. Ed smirked at them from a pillar next to Haruhi. They didn't notice the four girls behind them staring longingly at them. They nervously blushed as the same thought crossed their minds, ' _Please dance with me_ …' "Excuse me, Edward?"

The girls quickly sunk back behind the pillar as Ed looked over at Konoko. "Hey,"

Konoko wore a spaghetti strap night blue dress, with silky fabric wrapped around her arms. "I've been looking all over you… Would you like to have the next dance?"

He shrugged, "Sure, don't have anything else better to do right now…"

Two girls whimpered and glanced at them enviously as the other two smirked, seeing Haruhi still free.

Hunny leaned in towards Tamaki as Mori glanced in Ed and Haruhi's direction. "Kazuko-chan's here!"

Tamaki nodded. "Alright men, let us commence with our operation."

Ed yelped as he felt a hand scoop him up off the ground, with a very surprised Haruhi next to him. Mori raced off with the two slung over his back like a sack of potatoes, leaving a bewildered Konoko staring at him. "W-what…? Kid…napped…?"

Tamaki looked at her, and smirked. ' _Perfect_.'

…o0X0o…

Poker faced Mori walked into the changing room, where Hikaru, Kaoru, Kyoya, and Hunny were waiting. He gently put down an annoyed Ed and Haruhi.

"I still don't like this…" Edward grumbled.

"You didn't have to be so forceful!" Haruhi scolded, But Hikaru and Kaoru shoved bundles of clothes into their arms.

"Never mind that, go get changed!"

Ed pouted childishly. "I understand why she has to do it, but why me?!"

"You're the only one in the group with long hair." Everyone said in unison, pointing at him.

Edward sighed, and Hunny shoved them into two different stalls. "C'mon!" ( **A/N: What? It's only temporary… and I** _ **did**_ **say I was gonna do** _ **something**_ **to the guy…** )

…o0X0o…

"A little accident towards the end of the night could be interesting." Kyoya remarked, and he checked his watch. "And remember you two, it's only twenty minutes until the party reaches its climax."

A small rustle was heard from Haruhi's stall.

"Suzushima is already waiting for you at the end of the hall."

The curtains to Haruhi's stall pulled back, followed by Ed, who glared at them.

…o0X0o…

Ed's eye twitched irritably as Kaoru bent down applying make-up onto his face. Hikaru followed suit with Haruhi. "We know this is the boss's strategy but it's kind of unsettling."

"YOU THINK?!" Ed screeched.

The doors slammed open, revealing a very annoyed Tamaki. "What are you all doing?! The guests are waiting for-" he stopped as Ed and Haruhi stood up.

Haruhi had soft brown eyes, straight, mid back length chestnut hair, with bangs. She wore a simple light pink, sleeveless dress that came down to her knees, and a small pink purse hung at her side.

Next to her stood Ed, who tried for an innocent smile. He had his long golden hair down, and his stern gold eyes glared at him, not matching his lips. He had on a cerulean blue dress that went down to his knees, with a black belt hung loosely around his waist. Black boots adorned his legs, covering the metal. He wore white gloves and a thin, dark blue sweater, hiding his arm.

"Happy now?" He grumbled, face light pink. "I can't believe you're making me do this…"

"Who's the girl?" Tamaki asked bluntly.

"IT'S ME! EDWARD!" Ed screamed. "I'M NOT A GIRL!"

"Wow! You two look so cute!" Hunny exclaimed as Haruhi awkwardly walked past. "My face feels heavy and it's hard to walk in these shoes." She grumbled.

Ed shrugged. "I've endured a lot, but nothing can match this…" ' _Not even getting impaled through the stomach matches this humiliation…_ ' He finished mentally.

"Good luck Haruhi and Edward!" The twins encouraged in unison.

Tamaki goggled at Haruhi as she waddled away. "I can't believe… She's so pretty…"

…o0X0o…

Toro looked behind him as the doors opened. He blinked and held up two letters. "You two are the ones who wrote these letters?" Haruhi and Ed walked out of the shadows and into the moonlight. "You're totally different than what I imagined."

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Letter…?" Toro handed them the letters, and Ed and Haruhi sweatdropped at the mere sight of them.

Haruhi's read:

 _I'm in LOVE! LOVE!_

 _From the very moment I saw you, I've been head over heels in LOVE!_

 _Tee hee! It's like my heart is stuck in a never ending typhoon!_

 _And these feelings of LOVE keep whipping around like the breaking waves!_

 _When the typhoon's rising waters come, I want to dance with you on Noah's Ark!_

 _I DO! I DO!_

Ed's wasn't much better:

 _I LOVE YOU!  
I've always LOVED you ever since I saw you!_

 _It's almost as if my heart's overflowing with LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!_

 _The flood of LOVE keeps overflowing and bursting,_

 _And it makes me want to dance around in the skies with you!_

 _There's no one else who could make me feel this LOVE!_

They both thought, ' _Who came up with such a stupid letter_?' The images of Kyoya, Hikaru, and Kaoru appeared in their heads.

"Excuse me, but have we met before?" Toro asked uncomfortably.

Haruhi immanently panicked. "NO! I-I've never talked to you in my life!"

Ed simply shook his head. "Sorry, but no, we haven't…"

"I'm sorry," Toro sighed. "I'm flattered by your letters, but I'm afraid I don't feel the same way…" He gave them an apologetic look. "You see, another girl's already captured my heart."

Haruhi blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry…"

"We didn't know you had a girlfriend…" Ed murmured.

Toro sighed. "Unfortunately, she's not my girlfriend. In fact, I think she's completely over me…" He gazed out the window as vibrant pink cherry blossoms fluttered to the ground. "In all honesty, she'd be happier with someone more self-confident than me."

…o0X0o…

"Where are you taking me, Tamaki?" Konoko gave the Host Club's King a baffled look.

"You know Konoko, you're not the kind of girl who's good at manipulating others." He said coolly. Konoko's eyes widened in surprise. "I have you all figured out Konoko. I know you're switching from Host to Host to get his attention. And I've noticed you always looked happiest, gazing into a teacup." She gasped.

 _FLASHBACK_

 _A young, five year old Toro climbed up onto the chair, and hebeamed at the young Konoko on the other side. "Check it out Konoko!"_

" _So pretty…" She breathed._

" _There's a Witchwood, and a Foli… Here's an Oyster… Over there's a Jinori and a Mison…" He looked up at Konoko. "Someday you're gonna be my wife Konoko, so I'll tell you about all of them!"_

 _She smiled and eagerly nodded._

 _END FLASHBACK_

"…It's pointless… No matter how hard I try, he never notices me…" Konoko whispered, eyes watering. "And now he's decided to study in Broad… without… without even telling me…"

…o0X0o…

"That's why I wanted to change, I wanted to see the world… And hopefully become a better man." Toro gazed sadly out the window. "I know it's selfish, but I wonder if she'll wait for me…"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you're right, that is pretty selfish of you."

Toro froze as an imaginary arrow shot through his chest.

"But maybe she will wait." Haruhi added quickly. "You'll never know unless you tell her how you feel." He blinked in surprise at the two.

"You OBVIOUSLY have strong feelings for her, so why not go ahead and talk to her?" Ed asked.

"I think once you've decided to change, then you've already begun your transformation." Haruhi agreed.

Ed grinned. "C'mon, don't look so surprised. You gotta try looking at things from her perspective. She likes you, and doesn't want you leaving."

The doors behind them opened, and Ed and Haruhi whirled around as Toro looked up in surprise. Konoko stared at them with wide eyes.

"Konoko…"

She quickly looked down, trying to hide her hurt with a forced smile. "O-oh I'm sorry… I didn't mean to interrupt you three… I just…"

Tears trickled down her cheeks as a sob escaped her lips, and she quickly ran off. "KONOKO!" Toro exclaimed as he chased after her.

Ed and Haruhi ran to the door as Konoko and Toro raced off down the hall. Tamaki stood there smirking.

"It looks like we just made things worse." Haruhi muttered.

"Well, he went after her, didn't he?" Tamaki asked calmly.

Haruhi blinked in surprise as realization dawned on her. She sighed. "It's our job, as the elite Ouran Host Club, to make every girl happy."

…o0X0o…

Konoko ran across the yard, Toro hot on her tail. He quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping the two. Spotlights shined on them as the doors to the balconies opened. Girls and the Host Club, including Ed and Haruhi back in male clothes, walked out.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Tamaki's voice rang out, and the two looked up at him in surprise. "It is time for the final dance of this evening's festivities." The girls gasped excitedly. "The last waltz of the night has been chosen by the Host Club for," He pointed to Konoko and Toro. "This couple."

Konoko gasped in shock. Toro took a deep breath, and held out his hand to Konoko. "Princess Kazuko, may I have this dance?" Her eyes widened, and she slowly nodded, taking his hand.

Music softly rang into the night as the two glided around the yard.  
"I love you Konoko…" Toro whispered softly. "I've always loved you, and I want you to be my wife…"

"Tonight… marks the end of my Host hopping."

Tamaki smiled. "MAY THIS AWKWARD COUPLE BE FOREVER BLESSED!"

"And now we'll be announcing the queen of tonight's party!" Hikaru announced, holding a banana peel.

"Congratulations Princess Konoko Kazuko! You're tonight's queen!" Kaoru added, also holding a banana peel.

"And for her reward, a kiss on the cheek from the King!" Hikaru exclaimed, banana peel gone.

"You ready?" Tamaki asked dramatically, winking.

"And Haruhi Fujioka will stand in for Tamaki!" Kaoru added with a smirk, banana peel gone.

Tamaki and Haruhi's eyes widened. "EHH?!"

The twins shrugged. "Kyoya did say a little accident towards the evening could make the night a little more interesting for everyone." They both fist bumped Ed, who smirked at his little idea.

Konoko worriedly looked at them. Toro leaned in. "It's just on the cheek, right? You should accept it. It's to commemerate graduating from Host Hopping." She slowly nodded.

"There's no way I'm kissing her." Haruhi grumbled.

"If you do it, we'll cut your debt by one third." Kyoya prompted.

Haruhi blinked."Well, it is just a peck on the cheek…"

She walked down the stairs as Hunny thought for a moment. "Hey, you don't think this is Haru-chan's first kiss, do you?"

Tamaki gasped. "WHAT?!"

She leaned in to Konoko's cheek.

Tamaki leapt forward. "WAIT HARUHI!" He slipped on a banana peel, and accidently pushed Haruhi's back, and she fell forward, landing a kiss on Konoko's lips.

Toro and Tamaki gasped, and Tamaki fell to the ground. Girls squealed and Ed tried hiding his snickers.

Konoko glanced at Toro worriedly, and he gave her a nervous laugh. Haruhi blinked. ' _I never thought I'd end up giving my first kiss to another girl…'_ She looked at Konoko and Toror. _'But it was such an amazing night.'_

 **A/N: WOW. That took a while, huh guys? SO! I got four reviews, so it's OMAKE TIME!**

OMAKE

"MEN! We must discuss the theme for tomorrow!" Tamaki exclaimed.

Ed yawned. "How bought' that Frozen movie…? Know what? Never mind, later…"

The next day, Ed opened the door to be greeted by rose petals once again. He looked inside and sweatdropped. Snow covered the ground, and snowmen sat smiling at him. Hunny was dressed up as Olaf, Tamaki was Kristoff, Haruhi was Sven, Mori was Hans, Kyoya was Weselton, and the twins looked miserable as Anna and Elsa.

Ed's eyes widened. "I was joking…"

 **A/N: WAUGH! SOOO SHORT! And that omake was terrible, but I WAS BORED! Any ideas for another? PLEASE READ AND REVIEW and if I get a total of seven reviews or more, it'll be a guarantee I'll upload the next chapter!**


	3. Beware the Physical Exam!

**A/N: WOW. This story is the MOST POPULAR one of my stories so far! Holy crap, FORTY THREE FOLLOWERS AND THIRTY FAVORITES IN TWO CHAPTERS AND A SIDE STORY! WOW! For those of you who read my other stories, SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UP DATED! School's finally out, so I can write as much as I want!**

 **Some of you are wondering why the last update was so short, well, IT WASN'T A CHAPTER IT WAS A HINT! Also, about Roy and Riza, Ed told the Host Club prior to this chapter and after the hint they adopted him and Al after their little accident. But that aside, HERE YOU GO! Chapter three**!

Bells rang in the distance as light pink flowers fluttered to the ground from the trees. Two large, silver gates opened, revealing all eight Hosts. Tamaki, Kyoya, Hikaru, and Kaoru were all dressed in waiter's outfits, carrying steel plates. Haruhi, Edward, Mori, and Hunny were dressed in kimonos, with Ed's hair up in a ponytail. "Welcome ladies!"

"So, which one would you prefer?" Tamaki asked coolly, displaying a set of teacups. "The Foli? How about the Oyster, or maybe the Suzukima Gardenia?"

"Beautiful…" A lady breathed. "These are English antiques, aren't they?" "Which one do you like, Tamaki?"

"Which one?" Tamaki leaned in close and stroked her cheek. "Well none of these compare to my Princess."

"Oh…WOW… I don't really know what to say…"

…o0X0o…

"You mean you've never been to Convent Garden?" Kaoru asked, surprised.

"No, all of our antiques are from Portobello Road." One girl answered shyly.

"I think you'd like Convent Garden," Hikaru prompted. "Most of our Victorian pieces are from there."

A teacup hit Kaoru's and it toppled over, spilling hot tea on his hand. Kaoru hissed and dropped it, clutching his burnt hand. Hikaru whirled around and gasped. "KAORU!"

The two girls at their table leaned in, absorbing the moment like sponges, faces pink. Hikaru gently sucked on Kaoru's finger, and quietly murmured, "Honestly Kaoru. You have to be more careful. From now on, keep your eyes on me, okay?"

A small tear trickled down Kaoru's light pink cheek. "Yes… Hikaru…"

One of the girls madly blushed a deep red and sighed. "Oh, I can't take it, it's too overwhelming." The other blinked. "Hey! You have to watch this! You never know when it'll happen again!"

"You're absolutely right, mademoiselle." Kyoya said coolly, and he held up a vibrant pink cherry blossom. "Beauty is fleeting. Just look at these cherry blossoms. You'll be able to never see them this vibrant again. And that's why…" He held up a photo book with Hikaru and Kaoru on the front. 'Hitachiin, perfect photo book' was written across the top. "I've created this photo book that captures the beauty of each passing day." He smiled at them. "Indecently, I also have similar books on all the other Hosts." He held up four more, Ed on one, Haruhi on another, Tamaki on another one, and Hunny and Mori on another. "And if you ladies are interested in collecting all five of them, I'll discount the full set for you."

The stood up quickly. "I'LL TAKE THEM!" "ME TOO PLEASE!"

The Hitachiin twins looked at them, eyebrows raised. "Well, now we know how the Host Club gets extra money." They looked at each other.

"But you can't help but wonder…" Hikaru started.

"When did he have time to take pictures of us?" Kaoru finished.

…o0X0o…

Hunny stared at the bowl as he concentrated like the past fifteen minutes. The spoon span around like it had for the past fifteen minutes. Haruhi, two girls, and Mori watched, worried, like the past fifteen minutes.

' _Shouldn't we say something_?' Ed walked by and glanced at the bowl. "Hey, Hunny," Ed leaned down to the shorter blonde, "You over did it."

The girls and the girl-in-disguise gasped. ' _He told him_!'

Hunny stopped and stared at the bowl, which had only a few drops of tea left. He… he… Hunny's eyes began to water, and Ed gave him a pat on the back. "C'mon kid, happens all the time!"

One of the girls grabbed the bowl and took a small sip in an attempt to cheer up the blonde. "Wow Hunny-senpai! It's perfect!" The other girl caught on quickly. "Any more it would've been too much! How did you know? You never cease to amaze us!"

Hunny brightened at this. "Really?" Ed sighed, ' _He's too childish for his own good…_ ' Haruhi sweatdropped, ' _That was easy_.'

…o0X0o…

Flower pedal fluttered to the ground, as Haruhi stared at the cerulean blue sky. Ed sat nearby, reading a rather thick book, not noticing the girls nearby who were hiding behind a tree, staring.

"Haruhi," Haruhi glanced over at Tamaki questioningly. "How are you doing? Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Tamaki-senpai?"

"The flower viewing reception is going over quite well," He smiled at her. "However, it is more daunting to be admired than to do the admiring." All of a sudden bright sparkles appeared, glimmering in the sunlight.

Haruhi sweatdropped, "Oh wow senpai… _you're_ blooming in more ways than one…"

Tamaki blinked, and then accusingly pointed at her. "YOU'VE NOTICED!" He posed dramatically… again… "Today, my beauty is quite splendorous, I am in full bloom!" He winked. "I bet you'll fall for me soon!"

Haruhi's eye twitched. ' _I see, this guy must've grown up not knowing the hardships that are out there_.'

"So Haruhi! Edward!" The twins chimed in unison, hooking their arms around Haruhi and the kidnapped-and-taken-away-from-his-book Ed's necks, "Have you decided which elective class you'll be taking this term?"

"How about 'Conversational French'?" Kaoru suggested.

"We could all go together!" Hikaru added.

"After all, it makes perfect sense! We are in the same class together!" They said in unison, shooting sneaky looks at a surprised Tamaki.

Tamaki went straight for a tree and crouched there, growing random mushrooms, which Ed had oh so creatively dubbed, the 'Emo Corner'.

"Say… Mama dear…?" Tamaki whispered.

"What is it… _Daddy_?" Kyoya chirped, happily writing something in his notebook.

"I have a theory," Tamaki began, "I mean, of course it's just a hypothesis, but… Because they're in the same class, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Edward get to spend more time with Haruhi than I do here at the club! This means they get a chance to get close with her!"

"Tamaki, you just now realized that?" An imaginary bolt of lightning electrocuted Tamaki. A random whiteboard with charts taped to it appeared, and Kyoya pointed at it with a stick. There were three pie graphs, one with a large, not quite halfway, red portion was on it, another with a little more than half, and the other one was only a tiny sliver. "According to my research, Edward is Haruhi's neighbor, and regularly tutors her, and is also in the same class as her, as well as the club. Hikaru and Kaoru are in the same class as Haruhi and they also spend time with each other here at the club. However, your only limited with a few hours of club activity, so your impact on her day is merely three percent."

Tamaki burst into tears, pressing his hands to his ears, and screamed, "I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT I DON'T WANNA HEAR IIIIIITTTTT!"

He grabbed Haruhi and stared into her shocked brown eyes. "HARUHI! I WANT YOU TO STOP HANDING OUT WITH THOSE SHADY TWINS AND THAT EMO KID FROM NOW ON!"

"Hey! Who you callin' shady?" Kaoru called, annoyed.

"I'M NOT EMO!" Ed protested.

"You should take a good look at yourself boss!" Hikaru yelled.

Tamaki gasped, and backed away, as if he's seen a ghost. "That's it! Haruhi, we can't keep the fact that you're a girl any longer!" Tears streamed from his violet eyes as he dramatically clenched his fist and whined. "Daddy wants you to go back to the girl you used to be! You'll surround yourself with girlfriends and start living your wholesome life!"

Haruhi sweatdropped, "Who you calling 'Daddy'?"

Ed sighed and leaned in, "I think he's referring to himself…"

"SO DO IT!" Tamaki screamed, shaking Haruhi. Ed struggled to hold him back, seeing as Tamaki was around a foot taller. "CHANGE BACK NOW! CHANGE BACK NOW!"

"No need to rush things, she's gonna be found out soon." Kaoru informed. "Physical exams are the day after tomorrow." Hikaru finished.

The group froze. "Physical… Exam…?"

….. Kyoya spoke up. "Oh yeah, I forgot all about it."

"Oh," Haruhi said plainly.

"Oh no…" Ed muttered. "They're gonna know…"

"I'm a girl…" Haruhi finished. "And Ed's got…"

"Prosthetics…"

The rest of the Host Club gasped.

…o0X0o…

 _Girls muttered as they stared. Haruhi turned, wearing instead of the male uniform, a female uniform. A small portion of hair wrapped around her head in a braid. Tamaki turned around and smirked. "Haruhi! Been waiting long? What's the matter? You look a little down!"_

 _She looked up at him with large brown eyes, and fingered with her dress. "I can't help it… everyone keeps staring at me for some reason… I'm so embarrassed."_

 _Tamaki placed a hand on her waist, and pulled her close. "They're staring because you're lovely." He explained. "Don't worry, I'll protect you."_

 _Haruhi's fingers gently gripped his shirt. "Oh Tamaki-senpai… Thank you…"_

Tamaki chuckled as his daydream, as the fantasy continued to play in his head. Kyoya, Hunny, Mori, Hikaru and Kaoru observed this.

"Looks like he's having a great daydream." Hunny noted.

"It's kind of creeping me out." Hikaru muttered.

Tamaki grinned at them, snapping out of his trance. "Envious, Hikaru? This is all part of my strategy! While you've been blinded by jealousy, I've figured out this charade!" He turned, going into his imaginary world again. "This story is obviously a romantic school comedy! Haruhi and I are the main characters, meaning we're love interests!"

"Yeah, then what are we? What about Edward?" The twins asked in unison.

"You boys," He pointed at them, "Are the homosexual supporting cast! And Edward's my loyal sidekick!" He drew a line between him and the rest of the members, little hearts floating around on his side. "So please don't step across this line."

"You gotta be kidding." The twins muttered in unison.

"Look, I don't think you get it boss." Hikaru stated.

"If word gets out Haru-chan's a girl and Edo-chan's got automail, they won't be able to stay in the Host Club!" Hunny said, catching onto what Hikaru was saying. Tamaki froze, realizing their point. "Buuuuut… If Haru-chan started wearing girl's clothes, I bet she'd be even cuter than she is now!"

"She dressed like a normal girl when she as in middle school, right?" Hikaru asked thoughtfully. "And Ed looked like a normal kid when he was… what, nine? Ten?"

"They must've been pretty popular back then." Kaoru nodded.

"According to my investigative reports, some boy would announce their undying love to Haruhi at least twice a month." Kyoya explained.

"Oh! I see! So the boss won't even be able to get close to her!" Kaoru mused.

"But we can because we're in the same class all day long!" Hikaru grinned. "And don't forget Edward is her neighbor as well as in the same class!"

Tears welled in Tamaki's eyes as he realized what they were saying really was true. "No… way…"

The door opened, interrupting their conversation. Ed walked in, with a very messy ponytail, and a few bloody scratches on his face. Haruhi followed, and gave them an apologetic look. "Sorry we're so late. Ed fell down the stairs after someone just cleaned them."

Hunny tackled Ed to the ground, and gave him his biggest, saddest puppy eyes he could muster. "Edo-chan! Please stay in the club!"

Edward blinked, and made the mistake of looking at the all mighty Puppy Eyes. "No promises kid…" He rubbed his sore head, and Hunny happily got off and cheered.

Tamaki grabbed Haruhi's shoulders, and gave her a very desperate look. "HARUHI! WE PROMISE WE'LL KEEP YOUR SECRET OF YOU BEING A GIRL! ED'S GONNA STAY A SECRET TOO JUST STAY OUR BELOVED SECRET PRINCESS!"

Haruhi blinked in confusion, before letting out a plain and simple, "Sure."

"You know," Kaoru started.

"We'd both be a bit peeved to see all kinds of guys flirting with Haruhi," Hikaru continued.

"So that settles it." Kaoru finished.

A random whiteboard appeared again, and it had several stick figures, arrows, and squares on it, with A and B written next to two different groups of stick figures.

"Listen up squad members." Tamaki said seriously, like a general. "At tomorrow's physical exam, position yourselves in formation A, and then wait for your orders." The hosts except for Ed and Haruhi saluted. "Yes sir!"

Ed sweatdropped, "Uh…" Haruhi paused and thought for a moment, before placing the side of her fist against her palm. "I got it! You guys are worried that if they find out I'm a girl, I can no longer be a Host and therefore cant repay my debt! And if they find out Ed has prosthetics he'll quit and won't be able to repay you guys either."

Ed started mumbling something, having a quiet conversation with Haruhi.

"Our balance is 5,333,332 yen…"

"Hm, and we can't pay in yen because we don't have enough, plus I gotta pay the hospital bill for Alphonse…"

"And we can't be in the club to repay them if the school finds out our secrets…"

They paused, and turned back to the sweatdropping group. "Well, guess we'd have to find another way to pay you back." Ed scratched the back of his head while Haruhi sheepishly laughed nonchalantly.

The twins growled and turned back to the frustrated boss. "Do something! This subject seems to have no motivation!"

Tamaki moaned, "Ugh, why'd we get stuck with such a difficult heroine and sidekick?" he pointed at them accusingly. "Are you saying you _hate_ being a host?! DO YOU _HATE_ THIS CLUB?!"

"To be honest…" Haruhi thought for a moment. "I'd have to say, yes." Ed finished without hesitation, unlike Haruhi.

Tamaki gasped in surprise, and crouched in his Emo Corner, growing mushrooms. Haruhi shrugged. "I mean, you guys aren't _bad_ , but if it gets out I'm a girl there's nothing _I_ can do about it."

"They don't seem to care one way or another…" Hikaru muttered.

"Well before we do anything else, we have to find a way to motivate them!" Kaoru agreed.

Mori narrowed his eyes. "Fancy tuna."

Haruhi gasped, and the other hosts, besides Edward, gave her a sneaky, thoughtful look. Tamaki gave her a sly smile. "Oh that's right! You didn't get to eat any during last chapter's party… did you?" Ed rolled his eyes.

"Well, later! I'm outta here…"

Mori thought for a moment. "Beef stew." ( **A/N: From what I know, Edward LOVES stew**."

Ed froze in his tracks. "What…?"

Hikaru and Kaoru started whispering to each other, shooting gossipy **(A/N: Is that even a word?)** looks at Haruhi and Edward. "Did you hear that? Haruhi's never had fancy tuna before!" "Ed hasn't had stew since he's moved here!" "Wow, talk about a difficult life."

Hunny gave sad looks to his pink bunny, "If only Haru-chan and Edo-chan could stay in the Host Club, then they'd get to eat all sorts of yummy food."

Haruhi and Ed both sweatdropped, and Haruhi tried for a modest, innocent look. "What'd you mean? Just because I'm poor, and I've never had it doesn't mean I'm such a glutton I'd go fooling everyone about my gender just to try some fancy tuna…" Ed sighed. "I know I haven't had any stew since I came here, but I can't just lie to the whole school just to eat some again…" His voice trailed off, as an image of steaming hot beef stew appeared in his mind. He could almost smell it…

"Am I really going to get some?" Haruhi and Ed muttered in unison, faces red with embarrassment.

The other Hosts cheered in victory!

…o0X0o…

" _We will begin conducting physical examinations shortly. All school students please proceed to the clinic in your respected school building_."

"So what's with this 'Formation A' thing?" Ed asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously at the Hitachiin twins. "It sound like the freaking military."

"What _do_ they do during physical exams here at Ouran anyway?" Haruhi asked as well, casually strolling down the halls alongside Hikaru, Kaoru, and Edward.

"It's no different than a physical exam at any other school." Kaoru answered.

"Yeah, why would ours be any different just because we're rich?" Hikaru asked, confused at their questions.

Edward pondered this, before shrugging and placing a hand on the door handle to the clinic. "You're right, I didn't think of it that way."

He opened the door, to come face to face with a red carpet, and female nurses in pink dresses on the left and male doctors in white lab coats on the right. "Welcome students!"

Haruhi and Ed froze in shock. "HUH?!"

"What-What is all this?!" Haruhi yelped.

"What'd you mean?" Kaoru asked, unaffected by the formality of the exams. "It's just another physical exam."

"The usual," Hikaru agreed.

"The _usual_ …?" Ed deadpanned.

"Hitachiin brothers," A nurse curtsied. "Please come with me to get your height measured."

"Yes ma'am."

"Mr. Fujioka?" "Mr. Elric?" The two turned to face two more of the nurses. "I'm your nurse for today's physical exams this afternoon."

One of then grabbed Ed's left arm and pulled him away, while the other 'Death Nurse', as Ed oh-so-thoughtfully nicknamed them, dragged the girl in disguise off in another direction.

Ed looked around, and spotted a group of girls swooning curiously at Mori and Hunny, who were dressed like doctors. "Why are Hunny and Mori dressed as doctors?" "I don't know…" "Think they're trying to cosplay?"

Ed sweatdropped, "Hunny? Mori?" They both raised their fingers to their lips and let out a small, "Shh!"

Ed face-planted the ground in an anime style, ' _So obvious_ …'

…o0X0o…

Haruhi looked over and saw Hunny and Mori dressed as doctors, shushing Ed, who face planted the ground at how obvious their 'disguise' was.

"I have those two for backup." Haruhi turned to see Kyoya watching them.

"Why are they in doctor disguises?" she asked, taking in the uniforms.

"Just trying to set the mood." Kyoya said simply, before readjusting his glasses. "Disguises help make this feel like a real espionage mission."

Haruhi face-planted the ground, ' _SERIOUSLY?!_ '

…o0X0o…

"Wow Ms. Sharman! You've lost two whole kilograms since the last time I saw you!" A cheery doctor exclaimed.

"Wow! Really? I was sure I was heavier!" Ms. Sharman squealed in delight.

"Not at all! Keep it up and I'm sure you'll be even healthier next year!"

Ed gaped at the jolly doctor. "Isn't it weird that all these doctors are so jolly and cheery?"

"They're chosen by the school's chairman." Kyoya explained, startling the blonde. "HOW ARE YOU SO DAMN QUIET?!" "-This may be a school, but _is_ a business. Therefore they want to keep the students happy. After all, most of the students that attend Ouran Academy come from condiment families who have their own private doctors." Ed sweatdropped, "So this is just a formality."

Edward stared at him, before promptly walking away. ' _These damn rich people_...'

Kyoya sighed at him, when a man bumped against his shoulder. The man turned, revealing a dirty, unkempt face, medium length grey-brown hair, and seemed to not have shaved for days. His startled grey eyes looked at Kyoya in surprise. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry."

Kyoya blinked. "No problem…" He stared suspiciously at the man's retreating form. "Huh…?"

…o0X0o…

"Hitachiin brothers," A nurse called. "If you'd please come with me, we're ready to do your chest measurements." The girls stared at the scene, absorbing every moment. "You may use the area behind this curtain to undress."

"Doesn't matter to me." Kaoru muttered, letting his shirt slip down his shoulders. "We're not shy, who needs a curtain?" Hikaru agreed, unbuttoning his own shirt. They both had **(A/N: I have never fallen for a guy, nor have I seen an attractive one shirtless, so, I don't know how to describe this…-.-')** identical pale chests, and rather flat stomachs, but seemed in good health. **(A/N: there, I TRIED!)**

The girls squealed with delight, swooning over seeing their crushes shirtless. Kyoya smirked. "See Haruhi, Edward? A rather impressive turnout today." They both sweatdropped, "Physical Exam day is rather popular with the ladies." ' _What's wrong with the girls at this school_?!'

"It's just not fair," Hikaru whispered, clutching Kaoru's hand. "I won't let those doctors touch you."

"What do you mean?" Kaoru chuckled. "You don't seem to have a problem touching me at home, when we play doctor… I can't get you to stop tickling me and toying with my body…"

The girls squealed loudly, little hearts dancing around them.

"QUICKLY HARU-CHAN!" Hunny exclaimed as he and Mori shoved her into an empty stall, concealed by curtains. Two warm arms caught her, and she looked up to see Tamaki, who gave her a smirk. "Been waiting for you, my Princess."

She quickly pulled away and collapsed on the floor in surprise. "Tamaki-senpai!"

Tamaki crouched down and beamed. "You're so cute when you're surprised!"

Haruhi pouted childishly, but paused when she heard the nurse call out, "Mr. Fujioka? We're ready to take you chest measurements. When you're finished disrobing, will you please come with me?" The sounds of girls squealing were heard outside. "Eek! Haruhi's next!" "I can't wait!"

Tamaki stood up, a serious look on his face. "This is it, the inevitable moment has arrived. Juts you wait here Haruhi."

Haruhi looked at him suspiciously. "But what're you gonna d-"

He quickly shushed her, placing a finger on her lips. "Don't worry, I'll protect you," He stood up and started walking away. "…I'll protect you…"

"Mr. Fujioka? Are you ready to be measured now?" The nurse called again. All the girls stared hard at where Haruhi would appear, concentrating, hoping to burn the moment into their pea-sized brains.

"Yes," Tamaki's voice rang out. The curtains slid back, revealing a bare-chested Tamaki Suoh, wearing a brown wig. "I'm Haruhi Fujioka."

The girls' sweatdropped, "Wait, that's Tamaki!" "No denying it, that's _defiantly_ him!" "Why is he cosplaying as Haruhi?" "You think he's trying to be funny?" "Heheh…"

Haruhi face planted the ground in embarrassment. The twins an Ed burst out laughing hysterically. "HAHAHA! HE ACTUALLY DID IT!" Kaoru gasped. "I KNEW IT! THEY KNEW IT WAS HIM!" Hikaru cried. "I TOLD YOU THEY'D SEE THROUGH IT!" Ed choked out.

Tamaki gasped in shock. Ripping off the wig, he grabbed Kaoru by the neck. "YOU JERKS! YOU SAID THERE WAS NO WAY THEY WOULD TELL IT WAS ME!"

Kaoru struggled to contain his laughter. "It's payback for calling Ed your sidekick and us the homosexual supporting cast!"

…o0X0o…

Tamaki peeked behind the curtain at Haruhi, who was still seated on the floor. "I'm… sorry, they figured it out…"

Angry red lightning flashed from Haruhi's eyes as she turned and gave him an infuriated death glare, which Tamaki responded with shocked tears and a "WAAAAAUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Haruhi sighed, ' _Just as I thought, Tamaki-senpai lives in his own carefree little world…_ ' Her thoughts were interrupted as Kyoya put a hand on her shoulder. Ed followed behind him with the other Hosts besides Tamaki. "Haruhi, you ready? I went ahead and set up a special room for you and Edward, a special Boy's Clinic. And I have a doctors standing by, sworn to secrecy."

"It turns out the doctors here are all on staff at one of Kyoya-senpai's family hospitals." Kaoru explained.

"Would've been nice if he'd something sooner," Hikaru commented.

Kyoya smirked. "I had to get my revenge too, I'm sorry, I just don't think I'm supporting cast. Homosexual or otherwise,"

…o0X0o…

"Is there something wrong?" One girl asked, staring at a literally colorless Tamaki, who was staring off into space, slowly dissolving. "Look! He's eroding away!" Another swooned. "Oh wow…"

Tamaki didn't hear any of them, staring off into nothingness. "Haruhi is… angry with me…"he whispered mournfully.

…o0X0o…

 _Knock knock_

"Come in," A voice answered. Haruhi and Ed walked in, to see a woman with long brown hair, and glasses. "Mr. Fujioka," She said. "We have both been made aware of both of your situations. Mr. Fujioka, please disrobe over there, Mr. Elric, you will do the same thing on that side over there."

Haruhi blinked. "Ah, sure."

…o0X0o…

"It's true!" Kyoya, Hunny, Mori, Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru turned to see a girl sobbing on the floor, while others looked on while a nurse tried calming her down. "One of the doctors grabbed me by the shoulder! He was trying to make a pass at me! I've never been so terrified!"

"Wow! How scary!" the girls murmured. "Do you think he was a pervert?"

Kyoya sighed. "I had a feeling this might happen," This caught the other Host's attention.

"What'd you mean?" Hunny asked curiously.

"Earlier today, I saw a strange man." Kyoya explained. "He has wearing a white lab coat, but clearly not one of our hospital's doctors, and I thought he was a little odd."

"Shouldn't you have said something sooner?" The twins deadpanned in unison. Kyoya simply shrugged in response.

"Well, it's no big deal, I'm sure the security guard will catch him."

"Tell me miss did you see where the pervert doctor went?" A doctor asked.

"Yes, he went that way, towards the special boy's clinic."

The Hosts froze. "HARUHI! ED!"

…o0X0o…

Haruhi let her shirt slip down her shoulders, and was about to take it off all the way, when the curtains slid open. She whirled around in surprise, clutching her shirt to her chest. The man Kyoya saw slipped in.

"Excuse me-" The man turned in surprise. He clasped a hand around Haruhi's mouth in a panicky manner.

…o0X0o…

Ed put his shirt down on the chair, and sighed, letting his hair fall down his back. He paused as small voices were heard outside.

"Excuse me- mmph!"

"No! It's not what you think! Just please be quiet-"

Haruhi! Ed forgot all about the exams, and the fact he didn't have on his shirt, and tore out of his little room, and ripped into Haruhi's, delivering a kick with his automail foot to the man's face. "GOTCHA!"

The man crashed into the wall, leaving a very deep crack in the wall. Just as Haruhi recovered from the shock that a shirtless guy just kicked another guy in the face with a metal foot, Tamaki tore in, with the other Hosts.

"One," The twins said in unison, glaring at the man. "Good looks that attract the public eye."

"Two," Kyoya continued. "More wealth than you can imagine."

"Three," Mori added. "Chivalry that will never be overlooked…"

"The hideous wickedness of this world." Hunny finished.

Tamaki strode forward, placing his shirt on Haruhi's head, covering her up. "That's what makes up the Ouran Host Club!"

"We're here! Watch out!" They all said in unison, excluding a confused Haruhi and Edward. It was a pretty weird looking group. A shirtless guy standing next to a small girl with a shirt on her head, a short blonde next to a tall black haired teen, two red head twins, a glasses wearing younger version of Mustang, and a shirtless, muscular pipsqueak with a metal arm and countless scars.

Haruhi blinked, realizing her surroundings. Seeing as Ed was in front of her, she noticed several cuts and old scars on his back. One caught her attention. An ugly, dark red star shaped scar on his lower back. It looked as if… "Hey, Edward…?"

He turned around, facing her with a confused expression. "What?" That's when she noticed. ( **A/N: Once again, I have no idea how to describe this… uh…** ) He had a firm, muscular form unlike the other hosts… just… look at that six-pack! But then… she saw the identical star shaped scar on his stomach, showing he had been completely impaled through the gut. Deep, dark, angry looking scars lined around the ports for his automail, and his left arm, the flesh one, and his torso was covered in cuts.

He still had that oblivious look. "What?" Haruhi covered her mouth, trying to avoid screaming at the painful looking scars, and at the thought of Edward being impaled. His eyes followed her line of sight towards his stomach. His face turned a deep shade of red, realizing he didn't have on a shirt. "Gah…"

The man Ed had kicked in the face started whimpering, and Ed gave him a small glare. The guy dramatically bowed down stiffly, "Please don't hurt me! SPARE ME MY LIFE!" Edward mentally face palmed.

"I'm a doctor. I run a small emergency clinic in the next town over." He muttered, looking down shamefully. "My name is Yaabo."

"Did he say his name is Yaabo?" Kaoru asked.

"That's crazy, what a terrible name for a doctor." Hikaru agreed.

"Unless you're a phony." They said in unison, shooting each other knowing looks.

"I know…" Yaabo cried. "I'm here because I was hoping to see my daughter. My wife left me last month and took my daughter with her, but I know she attends school here."

Haruhi blinked. "I don't mean to pry or anything, but why did your wife and daughter leave you?"

Yaabo sighed.

 _FLASHBACK_

" _I'm sick of this! You let someone give you an IOU again?! You promised us you wouldn't do that anymore!" Yaabo's wife fumed._

" _Don't worry dear! I know this guy is good for us, you can trust him! Everything will be alright!" Yaabo tried to explain._

" _I can't take this anymore! Dad, you never think of the welfare of our family!" His daughter countered._

" _I'm going home to mother!" Yaabo's wife yelled, as she stormed out of the house, with her daughter following._

" _NO! PLEASE! WAIT!" Yaabo cried._

 _END FLASHBACK_

"And that was it. They left me… forever." Yaabo finished his flashback. Tamaki was on the brink of tears, the others just stared at him, thinking, _'Seriously?'_

"I know I'm terrible at managing our money, and I can't say no to anyone." Yaabo muttered, looking down in shame. "I don't blame them for being tired of constantly living in debt, I just wanted to see my daughter one last time, so I came here, to your school." Tamaki broke down in tears, while the other sweatdropped at the stupid story. "After being pelted by rain and snow I finally made it to your school! After I entered I was mistaken for a doctor here to examine students!"

"Of course, you're wearing a lab coat." Kaoru deadpanned.

"Anyone would mistake you." Hikaru added.

"And then it happened!"

 _ANOTHER FLASHBACK_

 _Yaabo walked up to the girl, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Excuse me, miss? I'm looking for my daughter-"_

" _EEK!"_

 _END SHORT FLASHBACK_

"When I tried asking her about my daughter, she started screaming and all of a sudden all these people were chasing me!" Yaabo cried, bursting into tears. Tamaki was right next to him, bawling his eyes out. "SO TRAGIC!"

Kyoya frowned. "Dr. Yaabo, I think you may have the wrong place. Are you looking for Ouran Public High School?"

Yaabo and Tamaki looked up. "Uh, yeah, that's right."

"I was afraid that was the case. This is Ouran Academy, a private institution. Your daughter doesn't go to school here." Yaabo's jaw dropped.

"Wow, that's pretty sad. You don't even know what school your daughter goes to." Kaoru sighed.

"I'll bet your relationship is messed up not because of some stupid debt, but because you don't pay attention." Hikaru explained.

"WOW KYO-CHAN! I'm impressed you found out he had the wrong school!" Hunny exclaimed.

Kyoya smirked, as if the answer was obvious. "Well there's no way the daughter of such a small time doctor, would ever make it into Ouran Academy!" Ed and Haruhi sweatdropped at that.

"Kyoya," Tamaki muttered. "Please get a map of all the public high schools in the area. I want to help this man find his daughter."

Haruhi and Ed blinked in surprise.

Kyoya nodded. "Whatever you say…"

…o0X0o…

The Hosts watched as Dr. Yaabo walked off into the distance, pausing to give them a small bow to show his thanks, and then quickly hurry off to see his daughter.

"Are you sure about this?" Kaoru asked warily.

"After all, even if he _does_ find his daughter," Hikaru continued. "There's no guarantee she'll even talk to him."

Tamaki sighed. "Then that's something he'll have to find out for himself." Edward and Haruhi blinked in surprise. ' _So, he is aware of his surroundings_ …'

Haruhi glanced around, and noticed the nurses giving them weird looks. Oh yeah, the physical exams…

"Edward, go back to your stall. You guys, will you please get out?" The boys blinked.

Tamaki gulped as tears formed in his eyes. "You two aren't quitting the Host club, are you?!"

Ed huffed, and answered for her. "Please, if we did that, we wouldn't be able to pay off our debt!"

Haruhi nodded. "We just have to finish our physical exams."

Tamaki's face flushed a deep red, then he threw himself forward, catching Edward and Haruhi in a bear hug. "YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE! I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU! I KNOW YOU'E JUST AFTE THAT FANCY TUNA AND BEEF STEW!"

"WAK! GET OFF OF ME DAMMIT!"

"CUT IT OUT SENPAI! EH?! HEY DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!"

"RED CARD!" The twins called. "Looks like Tamaki-senpai…" Kaoru announced. "Is the real pervert! Hikaru finished.

"I DON'T CARE!" Edward yelled.

"JUST GET OUT!" Haruhi added, before they both shoved them out.

 **A/N: Yeah yeah, I know this took forever, but hey, IT'S DONE! I was working on my other fanfics, soooo…**

 **Anyhow, let me clear some things up.**

 **For most of you: BOOM! I UPDATED!**

 **For like two of you: Ed told the Hosts he and Al were adopted by Roy and Riza prior to this chapter. And after the hint.**

 **For lots of you: LAST 'CHAPTER' WASN'T A CHAPTER!IT WAS A HINT!**

 **Before anyone asks: No, nobody in the Host Club or the school in fact knows Ed is in the military. As the story unravels, I might get the Hosts to figure it out. :3**

 **Now that that's out of the way, For you forty something people who followed, and you thirty something people who favorited, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**


	4. No Longer Active

Hey there guys, I know this damn thing hasn't been updated since, what? April 2016? That's freaking forever to me.

so sorry about that, but since I doubt anyone ever reads my profile, I'll tell y'all now. Sorry but

this account is no longer active for writing.

there, I said it.

im not a writer, and I learned that long ago. however, someone else has offered to continue this story on Wattpad. I don't think yo need an account to read stuff there? I dunno. Their name is Caity-Devil788. Go check em out. And so, if you can, TRY finding my new account ;) if ya do, you get cookies!


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